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Posts tagged ‘Smurfette’

Smurfs Debate Part 2: The Gold Standard

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Moderator: Welcome back to our debate. I’m Rhett Bear and if you’re just joining us, Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf and Smurfette are debating various topics.  Let’s move on.  Our next topic has people worried.  It concerns the value of the dollar.  It has been mentioned, lately, that we should go back to using silver and gold in our buying and selling.  What do you think of this?  Should we use it?  Why or why not?  Papa Smurf, we’ll start with you.

Papa Smurf: (smiles knowingly) Well, I remember when people used gold and silver to buy and sell and I think it worked out better than the dollar.  The rate of the dollar just keeps raising, to where it isn’t even worth anything anymore.  I think we should start over with silver and gold.

Moderator:  Thank you, Papa Smurf.  Brainy, what do you think?

Brainy Smurf: Well, as Papa Smurf said, the dollar just isn’t worth anything, anymore.  You can’t get anywhere with it.  I don’t think we should use silver and gold, that’s just too old fashioned.  It’s for old fogeys.

(Papa Smurf clears his throat loudly)

Brainy Smurf: Well, it is, Papa Smurf.  People don’t want old and washed up things.  They want new things.

Papa Smurf: Are you suggesting I’m old and washed up?

Brainy Smurf: Well, you said it, Papa Smurf.

(Outcry from the audience of mixed reactions)

Moderator: All right, all right.  Calm down.  Back on the subject, Brainy.

Brainy Smurf: Ah, yes!  Of course.  I think we should use Smurfberries in our buying and selling.  They’re very valuable and there’s no way they will lose their value.  Forget this dollar and silver stuff.  Smurfberries will work out best and everyone will appreciate a good smurfberry as payment.

(A combination of claps and boo’s are heard from the audience)

Moderator: Smurfette, what do you think?

Smurfette: Oh, Mr. Bear, I don’t think we need anything at all.  In our village, everyone works hard and does his or her job.  We don’t need to pay for things.  We have everything we need and we share what we have with others.  Everyone worked hard to build the bridge in our village and we worked together.  No one was paid for it.

I think if everyone gets along and shares with each other, we won’t have to buy anything.

(Audience bursts into laughter)

Moderator: (laughing) I don’t know if that will work in our world, Smurfette.  There are too many dishonest people in the nation and they will steal everything they can.

Smurfette: Well, they shouldn’t because that’s bad.

(Audience laughter increases)

It is!  We don’t need a standard.  We should just share!

(Audience is so loud, Smurfette cannot be heard over the laughter)

Smurfette: Oh, boo hoo!  Why is everyone laughing at me? Oh, boo, hoo, hoo!  Boo hoo!  Boo hoo!

Moderator: We have to take a break but we’ll be back with part three of this debate.

 

Stay tuned for the 3rd and final portion of the debate.  Will Smurfette ever be consoled?

Also, be sure to vote for your choice of smurf as president, in November.

Smurfs Debate

Hello everyone! Phil O’Really here once again. We are ready to join the smurfs as they begin their second debate. Here, we will find out a little more about what they stand for, in regards to Gargamel.
If you need a reminder, Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf, and Smurfette are running for president.
The candidates have already begun to arrive. Let’s see how it’s going.
(Looks down and slightly to his left)
(Candidates are shown arriving at the building. Papa Smurf is shown handing out a potion for sinus problems to each of his fans, Brainy Smurf is shown handing out his latest book of quotations to each of his fans-wearing t-shirts that say “Blue and Nerdy”. Smurfette is shown handing out flowers for each of her fans to put in their hair)
(Camera shows the stage and the candidates standing behind his or her respective podium and a cheering audience. )
(Camera stops on mediator)

Mediator: Welcome to today’s presidential debate.

Grouchy Smurf: (from the audience). I hate debating!

Mediator: (Turns to face Grouchy Smurf). Then go home. (Turns back to face the camera in front of him. ) Anyway, I’m Rhett Bear. Let’s begin our debate. Papa Smurf, let’s start with you. Do you consider Gargamel a serious threat and what do you think should be done with him?

Papa Smurf: Well, yes, I do consider him a serious threat and I think he should be defeated once and for all. I believe we should attack and make sure he knows that my little smurfs are not to be messed with.

Brainy Smurf: (Shaking his head). No, no, no.

Rhett Bear: Do you have something to say, Brainy Smurf?

Brainy Smurf: Yes I do, Rhett. Papa Smurf’s going about it all wrong. If he is so smart, why is he making such a bad decision?

Rhett Bear: So, what do you think should be done about Gargamel? Is he a threat?

Brainy Smurf: Yes, he’s a threat but if we attack him, we have no chance of victory. Papa Smurf is supposed to be protecting us and if he led us into battle, he would surely be leading us to death.
We should make Gargamel our ally and set up trade with him to ensure our safety.

Rhett Bear: Smurfette, what do you think?

Smurfette : Oh, Mr. Bear, we should not go to war. People would die and that’s bad.

Grouchy Smurf: (From the audience). I hate dying!

Rhett Bear: (Looking into the camera) Obviously, he didn’t take my advice. Go on, Smurfette.

Smurfette : We should stay away from Gargamel. He’s very dangerous, and so is Azreal. We should just stay away from him and leave him alone. That’s the best way to ensure our safety.

Brainy Smurf: But if we leave him alone, he’ll kill us. He will find our village, which he was probably going to find anyway, and make us his next meal.

Papa Smurf: Not if we find him first. We need to attack and capture him, put him through a trial, and put him in prison, where he belongs.

Brainy Smurf: He would never let us go through a trial with him, he’d kill us first. He’s evil. He doesn’t deserve fairness.

Papa Smurf: Everyone deserves fairness.

Smurfette: Everyone deserves to live! Everyone deserves happiness and you can’t be happy if people around you are dying. We need peace.

Papa Smurf: We can’t have peace with Gargamel around.

Brainy Smurf: We can if we make him our ally.

Papa Smurf: (Raising his fist) Absolutely not! He might make us think he is our ally but he is not and will never be.

Brainy Smurf: (Rolling his eyes) What a positive attitude, Papa Smurf!

Papa Smurf: Hey, you want to talk about positive…I’m a lot more positive than you.

Smurfette: He does have a point.

Brainy Smurf: Who’s side are you on?

Smurfette: Uh, my side? I thought we were all on different sides. (Laughs uncomfortably)

Brainy Smurf: Well, we are but…

Smurfette: I mean, you do tell people what to do, a lot.

Brainy Smurf: I do not!

Smurfette: Yes, you do.

Brainy Smurf: No, I don’t.

Smurfette: Yes, you do.

Rhett Bear: (Leaning forward and raising his voice) Excuse me, candidates.
(The three candidates stop and look at Rhett, totally changing their expressions to pleasant smiles in an instant). We need to pause for a commercial.

Tune in next week for more of this debate

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A Vain Endorsement For Smurfette

Vanity: ( Vanity Smurf is holding his famous mirror out in front of him and admiring himself until he is told that the camera is rolling)

Hmm, oh! Hey, there! I’m Vanity Smurf and I have a message for you. ( Exagerrates clearing his throat. Holds his arms out)

( Like he’s reading Shakespeare) (more…)

Papa Smurf’s Controversy

Good evening, Phil O’Really here. In the race for the presidency, Brainy Smurf has pressured Papa Smurf to release the contents of his potions to the public in an earlier debate. Here’s the clip. (Lowers head slightly while waiting for clip to play.)

Brainy Smurf: Why don’t you just release them, Papa Smurf? What’s so secret about them?

Papa Smurf: It’s not that they’re secret. Some of the ingredients of the potions are very dangerous and should not be handled by inexperienced hands. I have over one hundred years experience dealing with these potions.

Brainy Smurf: Oh, so you’re dealing potions that are illegal?

Papa Smurf: Uh, uh, no, that’s not what I said! I said “dealing with”. There’s nothing wrong with the ingredients I work with.

Brainy Smurf: Well, if there’s nothing wrong with them, why can’t the public see them?

Papa Smurf: Brainy, will you stop this ridiculousness?

Smurfette: Oh, Mr. Moderator?

Moderator: Yes, Smurfette?

Smurfette: I haven’t had a chance to say anything in this discussion.

Moderator: Go ahead, Smurfette.

Smurfette: Perhaps if we all took a whiff of my aromatherapy candle, we would feel better.

And there you have it. A few hours later, Papa Smurf announced that he will be releasing a potion for the common cold to the public tomorrow. In the meantime, take a look at these headlines.

Tape shows a newspaper with the headline: “Papa Smurf Says His Potions Are Dangerous”

Another newspaper with the headline: “Is Papa Smurf A Drug Dealer?”

If The Smurfs Ran For President…

Moderator: Good morning, and welcome to our debate. It’s been a close race and our candidates will answer questions on issues that are important to us. Let’s start with our first candidate, Smurfette. Why should we vote for you?
Smurfette: Thank you, Mr. Moderator. I think we need a woman’s touch, because girls get things done and with finesse (primping her hair).
Moderator: Thank you, Smurfette. Let’s move on to Papa Smurf, who looks like he’s about to come out of his shoes.
Papa Smurf: Yes, well, obviously I should be president because I am Papa Smurf and I am the oldest and wisest one here.
Moderator: Thank you, Papa Smurf. Brainy, how about you?
Brainy Smurf: Well, everyone should vote for me because I am the smartest smurf and I knew Papa Smurf was going to say that because like I always say…
Moderator: Thank you, Brainy. We need to move on. Smurfette, what do you stand for?
Smurfette: I think there should be more love in the world and part of that entails getting rid of Gargamel. If he is out of the picture, then we can strive for world peace.
Grouchy Smurf: (From the audience). I hate world peace!
Moderator: Papa Smurf, what do you stand for?
Papa Smurf: I think the smurfs should be more organized in their daily rituals. There are too many little smurfs smurfing around when they should be working. That leaves room for Gargamel to attack us because we are not alert. I have a plan to defeat Gargamel once and for all.
Grouchy Smurf: (From the audience) I hate Gargamel!
Moderator: Brainy Smurf, what do you stand for?
Brainy Smurf: Well, I agree with Papa Smurf. There are too many smurfs not doing their jobs and there is a lot of work to be done on any given day. I too, have a plan to defeat Gargamel and we need someone with brains stamp him out and get rid of the evil polluting our land. (Raising his finger) He does not belong anywhere near our home and like I always say…
(From the audience) Boooooooo!!!
Moderator: Everyone calm down. Well, there you have it. We look forward to hearing more from the candidates as the election draws near. I want to extend a warm thank you to each of the candidates for joining us and we will see you back here, soon.
Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf: Thank you.

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